Ups and downs are the simplest ways to show that we are currently living a life. No life is perfect, not even a life of a King of an empire. Happiness and sadness are parts of it, which are oftentimes compared to Yin and Yang. The two opposite elements attract and complement each other and both sides are well-balanced. Therefore, it is necessary that we all need to taste the bitterness and the sweetness along the journey in order to grow as a potential individual.
Life has knocked me down several times, and the previous year was no exception. Those tough times I have been through were exhausting and so excruciatingly painful that sometimes I did not even know what was going on or how I ended up in those situations. Problems were thrown at me from every angle and aspect of my life. It was very unexpected, and it caught me off guard. Even though sometimes I did not even get the reasons why, I think it is okay to let go of things, and it is better not knowing all the answers to every question I have. To know everything only causes more pain and unhappiness.
“Not everything is meant to be solved because then you only focus on the problem, not the goal. Focusing on the problem only causes more problems.”Anonymous
Although it was indeed so hard to endure and solve things with a high level of patience and calmness, I kept on believing miracle does exist. Everything is possible. Everything will work out if we do not give up and lose hope.
“A person without hope loses its purpose of living”.Anonymous
In the year of 2019, I have also made so many mistakes that affected my life and maybe the lives of other people around me. I have trusted the wrong people; I have made wrong decisions; I have hurt my own people and eventually it hurt me too. However, along this journey, I have also met some wonderful people who pulled me out of my miseries. They are precious to me; they are the ones who saved me out from hell and lifted me up to see the heartening sunshine and the luminous rainbow once again. They provided the best time of my life that I have never imagined I would have.
They gave me the hope which I thought I have lost long ago, and the ray of hope that they gave is divine. I am truly eternally thankful and grateful to them.
The hard times gave me the chance to know the real people with a great heart. If you asked me whether I regret my decisions, then I would say I did not. I have learnt so much from all of them. Although it was a bad experience or a bad phase of my life, I am always thankful that I am given a chance to learn and to grow. I got enlightened with all the mistakes that I have made in my life. I was able to learn from my blunders and became a better person.
Those hardships also have taught me that it is essential to forgive myself and others so that I can move on, heal and be at peace. I need to remind myself that I am just a human after all, so are my love ones. Bad decisions and mistakes must be made at some points of life. There is no a single soul who is able to avoid that even the ones I love. I cannot let that be the reason to give up on myself and my people. It is okay to make mistakes. It is okay to have scars as long as we learn from it, forgive ourselves and drop those which weigh us down. Moreover, I also have increased insight to make a better choice from this moment. Therefore, it is irrational to punish myself or others because of the imperfections or flaws that we all have while I have a choice to forgive so that I can go on with my life and be at peace. I know I cannot go back to change the beginning, but I hope I can change the ending.
In order to heal, we must first forgive… and sometimes the person we must forgive is ourselves.Mila Bron
2019, you have taught me many great and important life lessons. Every unpleasant moment happened to be learnt from, and every good memory is here to be cherished and held dear to my heart. Thank you for giving various challenges to test my patience. Thank you for providing me strength and wisdom that I need to take to the next page of life. Thank you for making me learnt to forgive myself. Thank you for everything that has shaped me to who I am today. Most importantly, thank you for bringing those awesome, incredible, wonderful and very supportive people into my life.
Before closing this page, I also would like to take this opportunity to express my sincerest gratitude to those who have stayed through thick and thin from the beginning, especially my beloved family. The presence of everybody is very much valued. I may not have always shown it but I wholeheartedly appreciate everything has been done for me. I owe everyone a debt of gratitude.
Now, please allow me to finally give a proper goodbye to the year of 2019 with a rare smile of mine.
I am ready to send you off.
Goodbye, 2019. 🙂