Picture credit: Christian-Retamales.deviantart.com
Physical injury is often bound to happen, especially when you were young. At such a young age, you tend to be fearless and like to explore to fill your curiosity. Then you might injure yourself because of your exploration. However, there are also times that you accidentally get hurt or there are people who have ill intention to make you suffer for the things you have or have not done. Pain is inevitable; it is just less or more and the most painful feeling of all is the feeling of loss. When you feel pain either physically or mentally, you would ask when you will be alright and sane again. The answer you will get from people is “Time will heal your wound. Give it to time.“
Exactly, even with the help of medicine, you still need time to have it properly absorbed to heal the physical wound you are having. There is no magical medicine that can heal or cure you in a blink of an eye. You have to bare the pain a bit in order to be fine again.
As time passes by, everything around you gradually changes. However, the pain that still remains, haunts and kills you every night is the feeling of loss. The absence of someone who means the world to you will leave you a deep dark hole in your heart. It is because when you are with that someone, you share yourself with them so when they desert you, you lose that piece of yours to them as well. Then you will never feel whole and full again. You thought that time would heal this big wound of yours as everybody tells you. You try to leave everything to it, but up until now, you does not feel better at all. The scar is deeply marked there within your soul, and every time you feel it, it rips you apart fiercely.
Can time heal all wounds?
Of course not, especially the mental and emotional wound.
Logically, time is the measure of minutes, hours, days, months and years. It is the answer to the questions how long it has passed already and at what moment you are at right now. Time keeps you moving fast forward and busy so you hardly notice how you feel at some points. The clock is ticking and you are occupied with loads of work or daily activities that you do not realize how long it has passed but the emotional and mental wounds do not subside. It feels like just yesterday that you got deeply hurt. You still remember how distressing you felt back then on the first day. You could not eat, sleep or even talk. All you could do is cry as long as you remember. You kept everything to yourself and you felt very tight in your chest. You could not express how you felt because it means you tore yourself apart and showed the world your weakness. It took years to cope with it. Yet, after a long period of time, there you go again. That painful feeling came and said hi again. It was just like the first time, you lost appetite, did not want to talk to anybody but this time you did not cry at all. You were all numb because of a long shower you took to avoid pain. You tried to sleep as long as you could because you did not want to wake up to a harsh reality. You started to loathe weekends and nights because you could not sleep at all. You tried to eat as much as you could until you threw up. You tried to cut yourself to feel relieve. You tried to read book to distract yourself until you got nosebleed. You almost blew away a chance of getting accepted for your dream job. You lost your way home because you were lost in your sorrow. All of these are nothing compared to the pain you feel inside. You pained to the core and you wish to forget this unfortunate thing as well as that person. Then you realized this:
It is rarely possible to forget someone who once held an important place in your heart. You will remember everything, every movement even a slightest bit of theirs, every smile on their face, every hope and dream you had shared together, and every word you both had exchanged. You will never forget all the good and bad moments as well as this pain. You will never forget them. This is a fact you have to learn to accept, and you also have to accept another fact that this person will no longer belong to you or be in your present or future.
It felt like it is the end of world at that moment, but later you realized that there are other people who love you as much as you did to that person and you also have others to take care of, and of course, they are your family. If it was not you allowing yourself to listen to them, if it was not them trying to reach out for you, you would not think straight then. The unconditional love, care and presence of family is so powerful that can help you get out of this hell. The acceptance of the fact that whatever happens, happens also play a vital role in this critical situation as well. You cannot turn back time to make everything right, but what you can do is to pick yourself up and look forward to the future. People also often say:
Time has neither ability to heal your wound itself nor forget that person. It is the presence and love from your family that you could not afford to see them as sad as you were, and you vow to yourself not letting them to be in a sorrow like you had experienced. It is your courage and acceptance to let go that takes great efforts to learn to do. At the end of the day, it is always you who decide who you want to be, what can have an effect on you, how you will react and respond to people and situations and how you would feel at that moment.
Therefore, the next time you are a victim of pain, give yourself some emotional space. Ask yourself what you can do to make your life meaningful. Have faith in yourself because none of us knows what will happen in the next minute or so. Embrace all the good moments you have with everyone who crosses your path. Learn to say goodbye to people who do not belong to your present and future. Appreciate their past presence and wish them all the best for their next journey. Prioritize your peace of mind by learning to let go of the unfortunate things that weigh you down. Instead, think of your loving and caring family and million positive possibilities that make it better, not asking why this dreadful event happens to you. Learn to accept it is what it is and move forward, and sooner or later you will figure out and your brain will give you the answer because what important now are the present and the future.